Dear Creighton NFP (1 Year Later),

Approximately one year ago I wrote an open letter about Creighton NFP outlining my hope, fears, and frustrations. One Year later, I figured I should follow-up.

Dear Creighton Model:

Not only did you totally kick me in the keister, you pushed me to the boundaries of sheer sanity. NFP continues to affirm and heighten my belief that there IS A GOD, and I’m not God.

Wholly smokes! When my system is working in harmony, it’s like the restored, gleaming Sistine Chapel. When my reproductive tract falls into discord, it’s like the Sistine Chapel with loin clothes added and years of grime and gunk covering the paintings. Being a woman is always beautiful, but sometimes that vision is easier to recognize some days rather than others.

Recently that vision has been nigh impossible to decipher. I’ve left a trail of tears and pleas in your wake. I cry out to God all the day long and all the night too begging for His infinite mercy and guidance. Though I resolutely practice and follow your guidelines, I struggle daily. Apparently, there is pain, and then there is PAIN. Who knew hormones were so amazingly powerful and important to the simplest and most complex bodily functions. Who knew you could have low grade infections not for months but for years. Thanks to NFP I learned I have a new breaking point. I learned control is much more elusive concept than before. I’m more broken than even I realized.

Sometimes I’m angry with God and disagree with His plan. As I told a priest friend in confession: “God is asking too much.” Daily I make a commitment to offering my pain, suffering, and frustration for the conversion of sinners and the salvation of souls. If you have to suffer, one might as well suffer well. But suffering well doesn’t make the actual suffering easier just more meaningful.

For those who are quaking in their boots by the above description, every uncertain and frustrating day is worthwhile rather than denying who God created me as a woman. Rejecting and denying having a reproductive tract that can malfunction and become ill like any other system of your body may seem like a good idea, but isn’t. Creighton NFP isn’t limiting but freeing. My heart breaks over the though of countless women and medical professionals denying their bodies and providing only a band-aid solution for serious issues. Only when you’re illuminated through the eyes of God can you see yourself for the breathtaking creation you are.

The most important lesson learned thus far is to see myself as God sees me. Beautiful. Whole. Enough. Fearfully and Wonderfully Made. Made in His Image.

With All My Respect and Admiration,

Hannah

P.S. Please, find and fix something soon. I pray for strength and courage.

An Honest Letter About Creighton NFP

Dear Creighton Model:

You totally kicked me in the keister. Learning about you has been one of the most rewarding and challenging experiences of my life. The more I learn the more that learning curve and the knowledge acquired affirms and heightens my belief that there IS A GOD, and I’m not God.

Wholly smokes! My body is complex, intricate, and beautiful. My reproductive system is like the almost nigh unbreakable encryption machine Enigma and Creighton the machine that broke Enigma. The point being is that the code can be broken and interpreted even if it seems rather complex and overwhelming at times. As a woman, I am fearfully and wonderfully made. When my system is working in harmony, it’s like the restored, gleaming Sistine Chapel. When my reproductive tract falls into discord, it’s like the Sistine Chapel with loin clothes added and years of grime and gunk covering the paintings. Being a woman is always beautiful, but sometimes that vision is easier to recognize some days than others.

When I started pulling out my hair over “essential sameness” and yellow stickers, you never failed to frustrate me even more. I thought I might go insane comparing today to yesterday, two days ago, three days ago, one week ago, etc. But after beating my head against the wall, I’m eternally grateful God lifted me up and gave me the strength to tackle “essential sameness” mastery. Now I feel accomplished and knowledgeable and  . . . well humble too. Essential sameness is actually awesome.

When my naprotechnologist ordered the 25 day hormone assessment panel that involved blood draws on 10+ specific days of my cycle, I never imagined how involved the process would be. I underestimated the hours my Dad,  Mom, and I spent in the ER, outpatient clinic, or the hospital cafeteria waiting for the blood to be spun and processed. I never purchased dry ice before shipping the vials to Nebraska. Dry ice burns. Duly note. I promise I took Honors High School Chemistry.

When my napro doctor explained my test results and how multiple hormones weren’t just off but precipitously off, I felt cold and numb. Then I realized this knowledge helped explain the bizarre and taxing symptoms I felt. But a sense of hope surged that a treatment plan could heal the underlying issue(s).

When I picked up my first progesterone oil and inter-muscular injection needle set, I struggled to keep a straight face while the pharmacist explained injecting myself into the tush or thigh. The other part of me felt as though I had entered into an alternate reality. Really, God?

Since last August, you and I embarked on a long and arduous journey. We knew it wouldn’t be easy when we started as a naive Creighton newbie 10 months ago. I realize now some woman have less complicated cycles and others make ours seem manageable. This recognition has taught me humility. I’ve learned a new language about how to express an intricate part of being a woman and relating to a man. Trust me. My conversations with my special man friend are epic. This method teaches perseverance and endurance. You have taught me ownership of my body, pride of ownership. Pride in all its wonder and awe. Pride also in its flaws and complications. Creighton, you teach me lessons each day. The most important lesson learned thus far is to see myself as God sees me. Beautiful. Whole. Enough. Fearfully and Wonderfully Made. Made in His Image.

With All Respect and Admiration,

Hannah

P.S. Thank you for kicking my keister. Now simmer down a little, please. Jesus, I trust in you.

 

Natural Family Planning (NFP) for the Unmarried

I am writing about Natural Family Planning (NFP,) right? Yes! Over the past few months, I’ve joined a new wave of Catholic women who are exploring NFP for their own personal knowledge, health, and well-being without a fiancee or spouse by our side. Why should single, unmarried Catholic women learn NFP? Because, designed by God, our female bodies are amazing and intricate while our natural cycles should be monitored and understood.

1.) Types of NFP:
There are multiple NFP methods researched, studied, and accepted by the Catholic Church. Each method charts fertility bio-markers. I learned the Creighton Method. Why? Because the Creighton Method is the MOST comprehensive and scientific system for diagnosing and treating Women’s Reproductive Health issues, i.e., Naprotechnology.

2.) Creighton NFP: No Chemicals Added
Creighton uses the most comprehensive bio-markers to chart fertility and infertility while tracking changes in a woman’s cycle that could indicate reproductive health or fertility issues. With the knowledge gleaned from charting, I could consult a Naprotechnology specialist and potentially treat and heal concerns. Another benefit of NFP is that there are no harmful side effects, chemicals, or synthetic hormones. Charting is inexpensive too, especially once the system is learned

3.) Learning NFP Lingo
Welcome to NFP, where women and men’s natural bodily function is not a bad, dirty phenomenon. But, yes, you, your trainer, and your significant other must learn to discuss and identity the amazing phenomena of mucus (it’s pretty amazing,) and how it plays into fertility, infertility, and health issues. Yep. I turned red a few times, but I felt an immense sense of peace knowing that God designed my body and called it “good.”

4.) Owning my Cycles
During the course of a women’s cycle, she is mostly INFERTILE; whereas, a man is considered FERTILE. Women can’t conceive any day of the month. Nothing prepared me for the day, I placed the white baby sticker on my Peak day and counted 3 Days Post Peak. For the first time, it hit me. I’m woman. If I was sexually active, I could have a baby. The realization excited and frightened me, but then I realized how few women experience that moment. And how even fewer women experience that moment with their spouse.

5.) Learning Another Love Language
NFP teaches the “multidimensional nature of sexual interaction.” NFP encourages couples to S.P. I.C.E. things up and develop equally important expressions of love. NFP challenges me to be a more loving person.

  • S = Spiritual expressed through praying together or meditation.
  • P = Physical closeness without genital contact.
  • I = Intellectual expressed though sharing a project, book, etc.
  • C = Communicative/Creative expressed through increased written or verbal communication or shared activities.
  • E = Emotional expressed though shared feelings, desires, humor, etc.

6.) Doesn’t Mean . . .
My future spouse is off-the-hook from learning NFP. Having the mutual knowledge, support, and discipline of NFP allows a couple to respect their God-given dignity as man and woman, appreciate their natural reproductive differences, and make prayerful decisions together about family planning. If not, NFP turns into another form of non-hormonal contraception.

7.) Joining a Greater Conversation
I’m no longer a woman on the sidelines waiting for NFP to apply to me, I’m in the middle of the greater conversation about NFP. I have a voice.

To all my single ladies, please, consider exploring NFP for your own knowledge, health, and wellbeing. You are a Daughter of the King!