Thy Will Be Done . . . Broken Yet Whole

Seattle5After my retreat last May led me to hours of Christian music listening, I’ve heard various songs by Christian artist that I have no clue who they are, but I like the song. Recently, Hillary Scott’s single “Thy Will” stood out amid the feel good pop Christian music. I recognized a certain authenticity and grittiness to the song. A plea of trust, “Thy Will” rose from her family’s personal tragedy of a greatly desired pregnancy that ended in miscarriage. Though I’m unmarried and not seeking pregnancy, the lyrics rang true.

Every couple of weeks, the special man in my life holds my hand and walks with me through the sometimes extreme ups and downs of my internal mental, emotional, and physical struggle with my reproductive health. I’ve written about my personal journey with Creighton Natural Family Planning before. A wealth of knowledge highlighting the overwhelming certainty that I’m broken yet very much whole.

In my lowest moments, the little voice of evil whispers ill thoughts about my worth being tied to my ability to be God’s gift to child bearing or biological motherhood. In the complexities of my reproductive health, complete healing equates to achieving wholeness again, and what I struggle with now is an ancient Biblical slap on my character like the result of past sins or ancestral sin. Basically, my physical weakness makes me less of a woman. Move over prosperity theology and enter Thy Will Be Done.

When I cry to my beloved about my woes and insecurities, the reply challenges what I know but haven’t really embraced: “THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU. And the woman you are now is whole, entirely loving, and worthy of love. I love and respect all of you equally not a piece of you more than another. I love you more because of your weaknesses not less.” God works through people to reach us. Of course, my loved ones, and I desire improvement and healing, but my worth isn’t tied to how healthy or not I am.

Now I turn to Thy Will . . .

I know you’re good
But this don’t feel good right now
And I know you think
Of things I could never think about
It’s hard to count it all joy
Distracted by the noise
Just trying to make sense
Of all your promises
Sometimes I gotta stop
Remember that you’re God
And I am not
So

Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Like a child on my knees all that comes to me is
Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Thy will be done.

Happy Feast Day of the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary!

 

Photo Credit: Direct From Lourdes, France
Photo Credit: Direct From Lourdes

Prayer – Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary

Almighty and everlasting God,

You have taken up body and soul

into the heavenly glory the Immaculate Virgin Mary,

Mother of Your Son: Grant, we beseech You,

that, ever intent upon heavenly things,

we may be worthy to be partakers of her glory.

Through Jesus Christ Your Son, our Lord,

who lives and reigns with You and the Holy Spirit,

One God, forever and ever. Amen.

 

*Prayer From Direct From Lourdes

St. John Vianney, Pray for Our Priests

st john vianney
St. John Vianney

My friend and I recently finished praying the Novena to St. John Vianney, patron saint of priests and seminarians. From his childhood during the French Revolution France, which forced he and other Catholics to worship in hiding, or deserting the Napoleonic army, to his academic difficulties in seminary, St. John Vianney exemplifies patient perseverance. Known as the Cure of Ars, Father Vianney dedicated most waking moments of his life to the salvation of souls and the conversion of sinners. Sometimes he spent up to 14-16 hours in the confessional. A dynamic confessor, Father Vianney is amazing reminder of the vital importance of the sacrament of reconciliation in the sacramental life of the Church, especially in the Jubilee Year of Mercy. His Feast Day is August 4th.

Each day the novena reflected on an aspect of St. John Vianney’s life and ministry outlining a theme to reflect and ask for the grace to be transformed and informed in whatever our respective vocations may be whether priest/religious, married, or generous single.

  1. Complete Trust in God
  2. True Love of Neighbor
  3. Horror of Sin
  4. Confessor of Souls
  5. The Real Presence
  6. Exquisite Purity
  7. Desire for Heaven

At the conclusion of the novena (thanks to praymorenovenas.com,) the daily reflection challenged the participant to express gratitude to a priest for their service to the church and remind us pray for seminarians and priests. Why? Because as Catholics, we believe in the power of intercessory prayer and that we live in communion with each other. Our prayers matter. Our prayers shape lives. Encourage vocations. Provide courage of conviction in moments of doubt or confusion. And remind each respective vocation that we can’t have one without the other. We are part of the Body of Christ. . . . the Vine and the Branches, etc. Furthermore, priests whether they live in accordance or not, have a tremendous obligation and responsibility to the Church, the members of the Church, and leading by example. Jesus Christ is epitome of the priestly vocation, an example that our priests are called to strive for. And, therefore, need all the prayers they can get. May we all strive to emulate Our Lord Jesus Christ. In the words of St. John Vianney & St. John Paul II:

“St. Bernard tells us that everything has come to us through Mary; and we may also say that everything has come to us through the priest; yes, all happiness, all graces, all heavenly gifts. If we had not the Sacrament of Orders, we should not have Our Lord. Who placed Him there, in that tabernacle? It was the priest. Who was it that received your soul, on its entrance into life? The priest. Who nourishes it, to give it strength to make its pilgrimage? The priest. Who will prepare it to appear before God, by washing that soul, for the last time, in the blood of Jesus Christ? The priest — always the priest. And if that soul comes to the point of death, who will raise it up, who will restore it to calmness and peace? Again the priest. You cannot recall one single blessing from God without finding, side by side with this recollection, the image of the priest.”

St. Jean Marie Baptiste Vianney, the Cure of Ars

“The priestly vocation is essentially a call to sanctity, in the form that derives from the Sacrament of Holy Orders.  Sanctity is intimacy with God; it is the imitation of Christ, poor, chaste and humble; it is unreserved love for souls and self-giving to their true good; it is love for the church which is holy and wants us to be holy, because such is the mission that Christ has entrusted to it.  Each one of you must be holy also in order to help your brothers pursue their vocation to sanctity.”
St. John Paul II, (Rome, Italy, October 9, 1984)